LIARS CORNER – NO PROFANITY PLEASE! – Part Two

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When I read the two signs, placed on the wall so strategically, I laugh so hard that I choke on my coffee! I quickly put the menu in front of my face and peek over the top of it to watch the group of older gentlemen sitting at that round table, each chuckling and talking and giving one another a hard time about something. They’re having a good morning! Each has his cup of coffee in hand, and the waitress is filling their cups as they speak, not even asking if they want more!

On the wall beside the “No Profanity Please” sign is a dry erase board that has a listing of pies and soups. Your choices for pies, homemade no less, are “apple and cherry.” Your choices for soup are “vegie and chili.” To the right of that sign is an older Pepsi cooler—in that cooler are cans of Pepsi and Coke. Those are your choices, Pepsi, Coke, Chili, Vegie, Apple, Cherry . . . life is indeed, good!

The conversations are spirited in this gathering place! One waitress is telling a male customer that her husband wants to have another baby! Her response to this request is a bit, uhmmm, colorful, to say the least! “Why in theeeeee hell would I do that when I just got my figger back from the last one? Not to mention I’m just now getting my energy back, to boot! So, I tell him that I don’t want another baby and he tells me that he does and all I have to do is exercise to get my figger back!” The laughter was deafening!

The man then asks her “What did you do to ‘im?”

She smartly replies “Nothin’. I just got the car keys and left. (Deep breath) Went to my mom’s. (long pause) For two days. (Big grin!) He doesn’t want another baby anymore. Seems two days with this one made him change his mind!” How fun is this! I just about peed my pants!

I noticed that above the Pepsi cooler is a 13” color TV. The news is ending and the announcer is letting us know that “Dr. Phil” is about to come on. A hush comes over the diner. I look around and try to see what’s happened, certain that the event has to be of some magnitude to warrant such a response. The women sitting at the middle table, the one that has the non-existent ceiling fan over it, have begun to turn their chairs around, facing the TV, as have the gentlemen at the “Liars Corner” round table. All other patrons have quieted down, all focused on the TV, waiting for the “Dr. Phil” program to start! Ok, then. Let’s watch Dr. Phil.

Well, it seems I have run out of room once again! I promise I’ll finish this story in my next article! Please tune in, same time, same station, for the conclusion of “LIAR’S CORNER – NO PROFANITY PLEASE!”