Hot dog!

Hot dog!

I saw a hot dog other day. I was ready to break the car window to rescue the poor thing when the owner showed up. She opened the door and stepped back with the heat that rolled out. What did she think her dog was supposed to do? Even on a 70-degree day the temperature […]

What’s the Answer?

What’s the Answer?

I called a client the other day, and got her voicemail. My client’s voice explained in detail how to wait for the beep, leave my name, phone number, and a brief message. Then a second pre-recorded message explained the same thing, almost verbatim. It was a good minute-and-a-half before I could even leave the message. […]

Trying to be ugly…

Trying to be ugly…

I just can’t believe how ugly some people try to get. Clothing has two main uses: 1) protection from the weather and 2) fashion. Oh, and pockets. Guys need lots of those. But I was out to dinner with a friend at a fairly nice restaurant recently where most people were either casual or a […]

Count their fingers…

Count their fingers…

The Fourth of July is this week, but I expect the same hangover I see every year. Leftover fireworks in the hands of kids who are young enough to still count on their fingers and wind up with only eight or nine of them to count on. Parents, big brothers and sisters, get rid of […]

Enough Catalogs

Enough Catalogs

About a year ago I bought something I needed from a catalog. It was fine, but I wish I hadn’t bought it. I soon began getting more catalogs from that company. Then one or two a month from some other companies. Now few days go by when I get less than three, and sometimes as […]

Festivals and Neighbors

Festivals and Neighbors

Summertime is festival time and hundreds of people will be soon be strolling along our streets. Kudos to the homeowners who spruce up their lawns and flower beds. Landlords and renters, please take note. You are often blamed for lack of community pride. Here’s your chance to prove the gossips wrong. Don’t be the ugliest […]

Miracle gadgets?

Miracle gadgets?

If I hear one more perky, shapely, photoshop-beautified model advertise one more miracle-slimming, trimming, muscle-bulking, anti-aging gimmick, gadget or device, diet pill or super-slimming-smoothie, I’ll just have to shoot my TV. How about trying this miracle: put down the grease-burgers, fat-fries and triple-chocolate-toffee-and-cream shakes with rainbow sprinkles and go for a walk. Does everybody think […]

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